Developing Resiliency in Early Childhood
Resilience is defined as a person’s ability to recover from a harmful, unpleasant, and otherwise negative experience. Developing the ability to “bounce back” or “let things go” is a skill that develops and strengthens over years from early childhood to adolescence, but it is possible to gain competence through adulthood. Differential susceptibility suggests that children and adults who are more sensitive to negative environments may also flourish quicker when placed in a positive environment.
A common phrase when referring to young children who have experienced harmful circumstances are orchid and dandelion children; comparing kids who are more sensitive and impacted by their environment to orchids, while children who can “grow anywhere” are represented by the weed flower dandelions. While many different factors may play into why a child is an orchid or dandelion, the idea is that it is an inherent personality trait. The goal is not to make orchid children dandelions or vise versa, but instead to recognize that individuals cope and process trauma differently.
The American Psychological Association suggests that resilience skills can in fact be learned and provide more coping skills and social emotional growth to help children thrive:
“Very young children will only recently have mastered the skills of walking and talking, and they may not be able to express their anxieties and fears. Although you may think they are too young to understand what is happening, even very young children can absorb frightening events from the news or from conversations they overhear.
Watch your children for signs of fear and sadness they may not be able to put into words. Have your children become extra clingy or needing more hugs than usual? Have your children started old habits after you thought they had outgrown the behavior? Are they suddenly more irritable? They may be feeling the pressure of what is going on in the world around them. Use play to help your children express their fears and encourage them to use art or pretend games to express what they may not be able to put into words.
Use family time like a security blanket for your children: wrap them up in family closeness and make sure your children have lots of family time. During times of stress and change, spend more time with your children playing games, reading to them, or just holding them close.”
The best prospect for a child to have healthy resiliency is to have at least one steady adult in their life who is reliable, loving, and meets their basic needs. This caregiver/parent relationship is vital to development of flexibility in childhood.
Other tools to nurture development of resilience in early childhood include making a daily routine to provide some predictability and to know that it is okay to take breaks when needed. These techniques can help foster self regulation and independence.
As caregivers and educators, there is very little to be done to change the past. Sometimes children with trauma in their past arrive, and all that can be done is to meet them where they are and provide the tools and opportunities to help them move towards happiness and self regulation. If you feel that your child is struggling with the development of these proficiencies speak to your pediatrician and school district for an evaluation.
Citations:
We're Only Human: On the Trail of the Orchid Child" in SA Mind 22, 5, 70-71 (November 2011) doi:10.1038/scientificamericanmind1111-70
American Psychological Association. (2020, August 26). Resilience guide for parents and teachers. http://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers
Ellis, Bruce J, Boyce, W. Thomas, Belsky, Jay, Bakermans-Kranenburg, Marian J, & Van Ijzendoorn, Marinus H. (2011). Differential susceptibility to the environment: An evolutionary–neurodevelopmental theory. Development and Psychopathology, 23(1), 7-28.
